Wednesday, September 30, 2009
30 Sept
oh no-s .
this ish gna be another emo post lol
those who arent into philosophy kinda stuff,
pls , turn back . lol .
before u curse me or sth x.x
you have been warned ...
mwahahahaha -lol-
_____________________________
Lately, out of the blue, perhaps due to external influence, I've explored more into the question which I have been pondering over for quite some time. Highly philosophical and it had been much of a turmoil but I have sort of found a personal answer to that.
"What are we born for?"
It's not a weird question really. If the ultimate end for us is death, then why are we born into this world in the first place? I'm not shy to admit, I have a strong sense of thanatophobia which is why I seek the answer to this question, simply to lessen the fear of death and allow me to live my life to the fullest. I have been thinking, is it for the people around I live for, perhaps my loved ones? Or is it for a lifetime of accomplishments? This is a tough one. And, why do I fear death now, will I fear it when I'm near death? These questions were flying all over when I lie to sleep, thinking I might just die in my sleep. Yes, that's how cynical I am lately. (Forgive me, exam stress ._.)
My fear of death originates from a very selfish reason. I just want to live and see the world change and of course enjoy life's pleasures - greed, lust, gluttony, several of the seven sins. Then again, I know death cannot be avoided. But it amuses me how people "overcome" their fear of death sometimes. They use a simple anesthesia called "religion" and numb their fear. I really don't trust in Christ nor Buddism nor Taoism nor any religion at that. "God", if there is one, in my opinion, other than being almighty, shouldn't he/she/it be righteous in the course of action? "God" isn't exactly righteous or so I should say. If he/she/it is, there won't be disasters, illness and all the troubling matters all over the world.
岁月难得沉默秋风厌倦漂泊
夕阳赖着不走挂在墙头舍不得我
昔日伊人耳边话已和潮声向东流
再回首往事也随枫叶一片片落
爱已走到尽头恨也放弃承诺
命运自认幽默想法太多由不得我
壮志凌云几分愁知己难逢几人留
再回首却闻笑传醉梦中
笑谈词穷古痴今狂终成空
刀钝刃乏恩断义绝梦方破
路荒遗滩饱览足迹没人懂
多年望眼欲穿过红尘滚滚我没看透
词嘲墨尽千情万怨英杰愁
曲终人散发花鬓白红颜殁
烛残未觉与日争辉徒消瘦
当泪干血隐狂涌白雪纷飞都成空
This set of lyrics summarises all the worries that I have thought over. Watching your loved ones and close friends turn to fragments of a sea of memories, somehow, the sadness there will actually in one way or another remove part of the fear of death, but not all.
-Whoever don't understand the lyrics can ask me to send you the meaning (:-
But, I will place my trust in one of the sects these days, just to ease the pain of knowing that you will be dead one day.
Now, that's one thing settled. Can't do anything about fear, then I shall maximize my time in this world, I suppose. Hmm, what's the reason for me being born then? If death awaits, then won't it be better to die upon birth before we develop a fear for death? Man, "God" is kind. The answer I found is easy and actually strings up what I have mentioned thus far.
"Existence"
To prove that there was a Ben Ang in this world. To prove that he had lived and done something. To prove my existence ten, hundred, heck, even millions down the road. To be remembered. That's what I hope to achieve. The answer is right in front of me really. Why do I feel sad when my loved ones and friends leave? Why would I drink to savour those memories with them when they are gone? Existence comes with company. When there are people who acknowledge your existence, you have something called the "will to live". When you lose them, it would seem that you have lost everything. This is my belief. That everyone live, in an attempt to leave even a trace of their existence behind.
It may only be me, as one who have never gone through the stage of romance, who crave to have a soulmate and as one who have been told of his latent potential and a bright future ahead of him. My existence is sort of "imperative" to people as I perceive it. And this is why I will strive hard now, to prove my existence someday, and not be forgotten as another being that has come to be.
This is my answer. Have you found yours?
"God" bless.
RadicalLove
this ish gna be another emo post lol
those who arent into philosophy kinda stuff,
pls , turn back . lol .
before u curse me or sth x.x
you have been warned ...
mwahahahaha -lol-
_____________________________
Lately, out of the blue, perhaps due to external influence, I've explored more into the question which I have been pondering over for quite some time. Highly philosophical and it had been much of a turmoil but I have sort of found a personal answer to that.
"What are we born for?"
It's not a weird question really. If the ultimate end for us is death, then why are we born into this world in the first place? I'm not shy to admit, I have a strong sense of thanatophobia which is why I seek the answer to this question, simply to lessen the fear of death and allow me to live my life to the fullest. I have been thinking, is it for the people around I live for, perhaps my loved ones? Or is it for a lifetime of accomplishments? This is a tough one. And, why do I fear death now, will I fear it when I'm near death? These questions were flying all over when I lie to sleep, thinking I might just die in my sleep. Yes, that's how cynical I am lately. (Forgive me, exam stress ._.)
My fear of death originates from a very selfish reason. I just want to live and see the world change and of course enjoy life's pleasures - greed, lust, gluttony, several of the seven sins. Then again, I know death cannot be avoided. But it amuses me how people "overcome" their fear of death sometimes. They use a simple anesthesia called "religion" and numb their fear. I really don't trust in Christ nor Buddism nor Taoism nor any religion at that. "God", if there is one, in my opinion, other than being almighty, shouldn't he/she/it be righteous in the course of action? "God" isn't exactly righteous or so I should say. If he/she/it is, there won't be disasters, illness and all the troubling matters all over the world.
岁月难得沉默秋风厌倦漂泊
夕阳赖着不走挂在墙头舍不得我
昔日伊人耳边话已和潮声向东流
再回首往事也随枫叶一片片落
爱已走到尽头恨也放弃承诺
命运自认幽默想法太多由不得我
壮志凌云几分愁知己难逢几人留
再回首却闻笑传醉梦中
笑谈词穷古痴今狂终成空
刀钝刃乏恩断义绝梦方破
路荒遗滩饱览足迹没人懂
多年望眼欲穿过红尘滚滚我没看透
词嘲墨尽千情万怨英杰愁
曲终人散发花鬓白红颜殁
烛残未觉与日争辉徒消瘦
当泪干血隐狂涌白雪纷飞都成空
This set of lyrics summarises all the worries that I have thought over. Watching your loved ones and close friends turn to fragments of a sea of memories, somehow, the sadness there will actually in one way or another remove part of the fear of death, but not all.
-Whoever don't understand the lyrics can ask me to send you the meaning (:-
But, I will place my trust in one of the sects these days, just to ease the pain of knowing that you will be dead one day.
Now, that's one thing settled. Can't do anything about fear, then I shall maximize my time in this world, I suppose. Hmm, what's the reason for me being born then? If death awaits, then won't it be better to die upon birth before we develop a fear for death? Man, "God" is kind. The answer I found is easy and actually strings up what I have mentioned thus far.
"Existence"
To prove that there was a Ben Ang in this world. To prove that he had lived and done something. To prove my existence ten, hundred, heck, even millions down the road. To be remembered. That's what I hope to achieve. The answer is right in front of me really. Why do I feel sad when my loved ones and friends leave? Why would I drink to savour those memories with them when they are gone? Existence comes with company. When there are people who acknowledge your existence, you have something called the "will to live". When you lose them, it would seem that you have lost everything. This is my belief. That everyone live, in an attempt to leave even a trace of their existence behind.
It may only be me, as one who have never gone through the stage of romance, who crave to have a soulmate and as one who have been told of his latent potential and a bright future ahead of him. My existence is sort of "imperative" to people as I perceive it. And this is why I will strive hard now, to prove my existence someday, and not be forgotten as another being that has come to be.
This is my answer. Have you found yours?
"God" bless.
RadicalLove
i want you back at 5:28 AM
0 on-lookers thought having you back was easy
0 on-lookers thought having you back was easy